Monday, February 11, 2013

How To Improve Your Self Esteem

Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.” 
Iyanla Vanzant


There was a little girl who was epileptic, who had poor grades in school, who had no friends. In fact, she was made fun of by her class mates. Her self esteem was lacking. But then, she discovered ice-skating. Scott Hamilton, gold champion figure skater and Olympic gold medalist became her inspiration, and that little girl who suffered from poor self esteem was able to transform herself into a confident world champion ice skater. Today, she is all grown up with children of her own. But she credits that experience with absolutely revolutionizing her future.

February is International Boost Self Esteem Month. One trademark characteristic of success is high self esteem. A healthy sense of self is critical in order to navigate life.  How is your self esteem? Does it need a boost? How do you go about improving it? Improving your self esteem begins with honest self evaluation.  If you need help assessing the health of your self esteem, you may want to take this test formulated by Psychology Today:

Why Is Self Esteem Important
The health of your self esteem is important because it determines in large part who you are and how you interact with the world. It has an effect on your psychological well being. Self esteem is your overall view of yourself, especially relative to others. Said another way, it is your general perception of self and your perceived value as an individual.

It is possible to have high self esteem in some areas of life and low self esteem in others.  A 40 year old woman, for example, may have an extremely high opinion of her worth as the accountant or mother or writer. These life experiences fill her with satisfaction and she is certain of her competence in these areas of her life. At the same time, she may be suffering with low self esteem with regards to her body image which makes shopping for clothes, getting dressed and socializing especially difficult for her.

When poor self esteem is limited to a few distinct areas of life, it usually is easier to identify and correct the limiting belief that is at the root of this negative self perception. If there is a general sense of poor self worth, however, a lot more intensive effort is needed to correct the belief system behind this generally negative self image.

Your Belief System And How It Relates To Self Esteem
Your belief system, forged through countless unique life experiences since birth, is the back bone of your self esteem.  A healthy belief system correlates to a healthy self esteem.  Every thought, how you feel, act and every decision you make is constantly being filtered through your unique belief system and is necessarily informed by it.

Indicators of High Self Esteem
v  You generally relate well to others
v  You are assertive
v  You have a strong set of core values and principles that you live by
v  You are ambitious
v  You think of yourself as worth, valuable
v  You have a happy disposition
v  You love yourself
v  You respect your self
v  You trust your instincts and resist manipulation
v  You feel competent
v  You are confident
v  You feel interesting and deserving of great friendships
v  You feel beautiful

 Indicators of Low Self Esteem
v  You feel insecure about your place in the world
v  You avoid challenges at work or social activities
v  You feel unworthy, inferior
v  You are self conscious, anxious
v  You are hypersensitive to criticism
v  You are severely self critical
v  You are indecisive
v  You feel sad or discouraged
v  You feel ashamed
v  You dwell on past mistakes
v  You do not relate well to others
v  You feel envious
v  You feel that the world is unfair
v  You treat yourself poorly and allow others to treat you badly
v  You are a people please, and often accept less than you deserve
v  You think everyone looks better and dresses better than you do
v  You are excessively needy and clingy

10 Steps To Improve Your Self Esteem
1.       Read books on the topic and implement suggestions
2.       Seek the help of a therapist or psychologist if self help is not enough
3.       Keep a daily journal of your self-negating thoughts. Replace each with something positive.
4.       Use this journal to remind yourself of your accomplishments and your best qualities
5.       If body image is a problem, seek professional help to establish a weight-loss program you can adhere to
6.       Surround yourself with positive people, positive books, positive music
7.       Learn a new skill or improve one you already have.  It has been proven that people who become successful at something see improvement in their confidence and self perception
8.       Improve your physical appearance through exercise or a personal makeover. Studies show that when you look great, your self perception improves. It is also true that the world responds to you differently based on your physical appearance
9.       Identify areas of your life where you are usually a pushover and make a plan to become more assertive in those areas
10.   Resolve to be happy about the good things in your life

Vision For Your Life
If you have a dream that you have delayed because you don’t feel good enough or worthy enough, a healthy boost of self esteem may be all you need in order to change your life.   A healthy self esteem can empower you to think bigger, become more confident, do more, live more passionately and even achieve the unimaginable.  This month, determine to make your life a study in excellence – beginning with your self esteem.

Live every day as though your life depends on it ... because after all, IT DOES!


  1. I really like your blog. There are lots of articles out there claiming capability to change your life for the better, but the truth is that it’s completely up to you. This post, I really found helpful in self-esteem. In order to change anything in your life you need to look up for your old limiting habits first. Thanks for sharing this informative post.
    Image Consultant

    1. Thank you! I'm guessing that as an image consultant you come across clients who would benefit from an image makeover on the inside as well.

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Live each day Passionately - as though your life depends on it - Because it does! CJ Monet